"Why do I have so much and other people so little?"
This is the question, Reverend Marlin Harris asked at New Life Church this past Sunday.
He had just returned from a missions trip to Africa, and saw poverty all around him. He mentioned looking at their praise for the little they had, you would think they were millionaires. While people, here in the United States complain and gripe about the inconveniences in their life.
I can vouch for the reverend. My wife and I went to Jamaica for her birthday this year, and instead of staying on the resort in Montego Bay the whole time, we decided to catch a very expensive cab ride to Kingston which is on the other side of the island. There were beautiful moments as we saw the ocean and the beaches of Jamaica...
Our cab driver
Beautiful Ocean
Roadside
As we got closer to Kingston, you could tell the conditions of the roads were getting rougher and the smog from the city life polluted the blue skies. The cab driver told us stories of how small things like air freshener and washing detergent were so expensive over there. We drove through slums, and I don't mean the section 8 apartments that my dad and I lived in during my summer vacations from college, I mean actual slums. The houses couldn't have been any bigger than a bedroom here.
Seeing different cultures like that, opens you eyes to true poverty, and makes you thankful for the simplest things like running water and air conditioners. These are things that are so common to us, but people in Jamaica and Africa and other poor countries would kill for those things, and yet they find it in their heart to be thankful.
This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for the small things.....
My 3 Year Wedding Anniversary was a month ago. 3 years of wedding bliss means that I don't really know a whole lot about marriage. We are still technically wet behind the ears, but I do know from 7 years of dating the same woman and witnessing good and bad marriages around me, what it takes to have a long fulfilling union. I want to dedicate this blog to all of my married friends and my friends who are inching towards marriage with their "boo thang" (as I like to call them), I call this blog, "Marital Warfare".
In the world of Kim Kardashians and Kris Humphries, marriage may seem like just something to do.
"Oh, we've been on a couple of dates, and I think we are cute together so lets get married, not knowing anything about each other, but just because it seems like the cool thing to do" OR
"Well, we've had sex a couple of times or I've gotten pregnant, and just to right the situation, I think I will marry this person" OR
"Even though I don't love him or her, I could change him or her and grow to love them"
Basing a marriage on theses foundations will leave you on the next edition of "Best of Divorce Court"
I dont believe in divorce in most instances (I'll get back to that later). I also dont believe in ignorant marrying either! Ignorant marrying are the examples I gave you above. Marrying somebody because it's cool. Marrying someone because you're having sex with them. Marrying someone because you think that they will change after time. Marrying someone because all of your friends and family have gotten married, and you don't want to be the odd ball out.
Now to avoid the "ignorant marrying", you have to do some ground work. When you're dating a person, you really need to learn about a person. If your boyfriend/girlfriend just wants to hang out in big groups or go to a movie, where no communication is happening, you may need to reconsider the whole marriage thing. Find out what kind of family they come from. Divorce maybe something that is common to them. Maybe they come from a family where they say "I love you" all of the time, and they are all touchy and feely, and you come from a family where the only time your parents touched you, was when you were getting your backside lit up. This could be a conflict of interest. I recommend the following book...
This book has questions that will help you get to know your potential spouse.
I felt like I did enough research on my wife, to determine that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We dated from 03' - 08'. Was engaged for a year and some change. We saw each other's bad side and good side, we knew that there were going to be some conflicts with our marrying each other, but it was all good for us.
I know people who are miserable in their marriages. Happy in every aspect of their life, but when they get home to their spouse, it turns into marital warfare. Why put yourself through the torture? I tell my boys that I would rather my wife cheat on me with 1,000,000 men (without me finding out) then to go home to a wife who nags and argues non-stop! I believe in peace and tranquility when I get home from work. Of course, my wife and I will argue (who doesn't), but if you implement this next word, arguments will not last long and your commitment will be more fulfilling.....
RESPECT
Aretha Frankin wasn't lying when she sang that she wanted respect when her man came home. She cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids, and the least her man could do was show her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. But this respect thing is something that has to be shown by both parties. You may have a man come home to an Aretha Franklin who is disrespectful. When arguments lack respect, you have more hurtful things that are said. When respect is shown, parties usually come to an agreement a lot faster. Just think of it as a math formula (sorry Im an accountant)
Disagreement - Respect = Heated Argument
Disagreement + Respect = Disagreement
You and your spouse may never come to an agreement but love will not be lost. When respect is lacking, words are said that may just sting the 1st time, but after a while, its going to have you considering divorce court. Sometimes throwing a 3rd party in the mix like a counselor or shrink could make you or your spouse see the argument from a different view.
Above I said, I don't believe in divorce. I don't believe in waking up one morning, and saying "I've had enough, see ya later" or "We've grown apart over the years" or "the kids have graduated high school, and I don't want you anymore". I'm just speaking about myself now. I'm not the type to judge any situation. I've explained to my wife that when adultery gets involved, she or I will have to go. The bible says forgive, but forgetting would be the hard part. It would be days of worrying where your spouse is. Checking phone messages. Questioning their coming and going. I can't live that life! Once the trust is gone, love will soon follow. So as long as my wife and I stay faithful to each other, its going to be a long long marriage.
Every marriage is different, but if you take the time and put the groundwork in during the dating years, the marriage will be very fulfilling or you could be dodging a bullet People change over the years, and sometimes you have to adapt. There are tons of topics that I will delve into in future blogs, so stay tuned... Signing out, Fatdreek
People you have known all of your life, have you fooled.
It's hard to keep it real! I know! The fear of rejection or ridicule will force you to lie to people you have known all of your life.
Your friends. Your family. Your significant other. Your co-workers. Your Self.
It takes a lot of energy to keep up a facade.
Maybe you keep it real with some people and fake with others. How do you differentiate? I can't imagine the trauma.
I must admit. I've been a faker in numerous instances. I hold my tongue when I should speak. I put on a smile when life couldn't be worse. I have a problem with a person, but I pose as everything is OK.
I've learned that just keeping it real gets you a long way in life.
My 10 year high school reunion was a few months ago. It would've been easy for me to say, I'm a CFO of a billion dollar multi-national corporation, but I'm just a staff accountant for a small construction company. I could have rented a Range Rover and perpetrated that I was "The Man", but I didn't. I am not "The Man". I showed up to the high school reunion just an obese black guy with an Impala and a hot wife!
I've seen girls that wear fake coach and gucci bags. What's the point? Its gonna rip to pieces after 3-4 uses anyways? And please tell me a dude didn't buy that for you. Oy Vey like my Jewish homies say! Just save up and buy you something nice that isn't named brand, but has quality. Keeping up with the Joneses will keep you in the poor house.
I dont mean to sound like a trailer for a horror movie but these fakers are taking over the country, people! They're usually easy to spot! There is nothing more that I hate than a fake smile! If you're angry, be angry! Turn into the Incredible Hulk or something! If you're sad, then cry like Chris Bosh!
We're human-beings! We have a range of emotions. Why portray happiness when you aren't happy. You have those who turn with the tide. They roll with republicans, and they turn conservative. They kick it with democrats, and they turn liberal. They kick it with me, and they say screw the government!
Keeping it real isn't difficult. You may not be as popular, or as cool as the next fella if you keep it real and they keep it fake, but just know that you don't have to look over your shoulder to see who's watching. You won't have to switch personas when certain people come around. You won't have to look yourself in the mirror and be ashamed at the facade that you portray. If people don't like you for you, then so be it.
The moral of the story, is never trust the cover of a book. Smiles may equal disappointment and frowns may equal joy. The person portraying the most religious person ever may be a perverted freak (Eddie Long)! The man that seems to be trustworthy and respected by everyone in the community, may be the sickest individual on the planet (Sandusky).
Only the Lord can judge you, and remembering that will make life easier!
I really hate politics! I hate the Republicans and I hate the Democrats. I want to chop the left and right wing off and leave the bird flightless!
You have Republicans who complain about the deficit but want to continue tax cuts that could put a dent into it. You have Democrats who instead of working toward the deficit, want to add to it by spending money.
You have a government who spends money on NASA explorations, when they should be investing in our future.
You have a Democratic mayor who wants to put a limit on the size slurpee that you can buy in New York. .
Are you kidding me??
I understand. The country is heading toward Obeseville, and I maybe the mayor of Obeseville, but that's no reason to limit the Slurpeeness of America. If the Government can tell me what size Slurpees I can buy, what's to stop them from telling me what kind of gas I can buy or what kind of blogs I can write, or what to believe in. I think Government is necessary, but let's not push it, Bloomberg!!!
Then you have the whole "Obamacare" issue. I don't really care about it. I haven't read the literature line by line, all I know is that a lot of people have their panties in a wad, and I dont understand the tangled undergarments. People without healthcare have been getting "free" healthcare through emergency rooms across the country for years, so to me nothing's going to change. If things change, then things are going to change. Whining about a new law, isn't going to get that law overturned. Now if you oppose Obamacare that much, then you have the opportunity to vote for Romney in November and he'll probably repeal Obamacare, unless the Powers That Be keep his pockets fat (Romneycare).
Now when it comes to the election in November. I don't know who I'm voting for. I'm not too impressed with Mr. Obama. The gas price and unemployment rate are way too high. I know he's done a lot. I saw those Obama road signs near construction zones all over the southeast. I know the auto industry needed a bailing and now the auto industry is doing well. I know the healthcare overhaul will benefit a lot of people. Some who genuinely need the help and not just looking for another hand out, and for that I am thankful. Hats off to the President for those accomplishments. I wish Obama would've focused on improving the unemployment rate and these rising gas prices, but hey that's just me! When you have an opposing party who made it their goal to keep the president from being re-elected, you can expect some plans to be halted!! Which brings me back to my 1st post on this "Politics As Usual" series!
THE BI-PARTISANSHIP IN THIS COUNTRY IS BEYOND BELIEF!!
Parties only want things that benefit them, even if that means destroying the country! Enough is Enough! I feel like the white guy in Network!!
Above is the Lebron James that I somewhat loved and very much respected!
1st a quick history lesson :
Lebron James was selected #1 overall by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2003 straight out of high school.
His rookie year was remarkable. He averaged 20 points. 5 Boards (rebounds). and 5 Dimes (assists) per game (imagine if he went to college for a couple of years)
After 2 seasons, he led the Cavaliers to the playoffs and was beaten in the 2nd round by the Detroit Pistons.
That offseason, he signed a 3 year contract extension with the Cavaliers, as well as Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh (Coincidence, I think not)
The following season, Lebron then led his team to the playoffs. In the Eastern Conference Championship, I realized how great Lebron James was. With the series tied 2-2, Lebron exploded in game 5 and dropped 48 on the Pistons scoring his team's last 29 of 30 points including the game winner. After that game, I knew he would be one of the greats, and he was my 2nd favorite player next to Kobe Bean Bryant! That great performance against the Pistons only got him to the Finals to get swept by the Spurs.
The next season, he and Cavs got beat by the Celtics (what's going on E?) in one of the greatest 1-on-1 battles that I've seen with my own eyes live between Lebron and Paul Pierce.
The next season, he got beat by the Orlando Magic led by Dwight Howard (another sucka, unless he signs with the Lakers or Hawks #biased) in the conference finals.
The next and final season with the Cleveland Cavaliers is when Lebron James started his descent into suckaville! The Cavs made some good moves to get Lebron a good supporting cast, getting an old but still efficient Shaquille O'Neal (who averaged 12 points and 7 boards) and Antawn Jamison (who averaged 15 points and 8 boards). They already had Mo Williams who averaged 16 points and 5 dimes. For the 2nd year in a row, they led the Eastern Conference in wins and the world knew that Lebron would lead his team to the Finals, and this time win it all. When the playoffs started, they got past the Bulls with relative ease, but then the Celtics came to town, and according to the Dreek Theory of 2009, Lebron threw the series in order to have a good reason to leave Cleveland and link up with his homies in Miami like they had discussed after the 2005-2006 season. In game 5, Lebron scored a measly 15 points, and in game 6, even though he had a triple double, he still looked bad shooting a low percentage and committing 9 turnovers. The Dreek Theory of 2009 states that Lebron is so good that he could get his stats and still throw the game away (YES! He's that good).
So the free agency hoopla commences and everyone is trying to figure out if Lebron is going to stay with Cleveland or go to New York or go to Dallas or whoever had the check book to pick him up. Never in a thousand years would I have thought that Lebron "The King" James would link up with a superstar in Dwayne Wade and a great big man in Chris Bosh in Miami. I just didn't see it happening. I knew Lebron would follow the lead of all of the greats who stuck it out with their teams (Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas, Reggie Miller, Julius Erving) I thought Lebron would play the free agency system in order to force the Cleveland Cavaliers' Owner, Dan Gilbert, to get more talent in Cleveland with him but boy was I wrong.....
Cant you just sense the look on his face :
"Boy, I really screwed up this time"
"Im going to get shot when I leave this gym"
"Man, my head looks 20 times bigger on camera"
So the DECISION was made. I appreciate the guy raising money for that particular Boys & Girls Club with the ad revenue raised from this debacle, because I went there as a kid, but let's keep it 100% This was a sucka move! Just make your decision, call Dan Gilbert, let him know the move, and let ESPN do their thing. We dont need you on TV looking like you just gave your mother a report card with all F's awaiting to get slapped in the face.
So the "teaming up" that Wade, Bosh, and James discussed years ago finally came into fruition. Instead of hitting the gym to work on chemistry or watch film of the top teams, they decided to pull a WWF stunt!
The only time a team should be celebrating is after they win the championship. During this debacle, Lebron stated that the Miami Heat would win upwards to 7 championships. Seriously?? I will give the Heat 3 championships. The sad thing is, Lebron was capable of 3 championships with Cleveland. It took Michael Jordan 7 years to concoct a Championship caliber team. No linking up with Bird and Magic to win titles.I guess these young punks are too impatient and would rather ruin their legacy!
Last season, the Heat did what they had to do to win a championship, even though they barely got by an old Celtic team. With the addition of Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis, a back to back championship wouldn't be out of the question, but 7 is very far-fetched, and with Lebron making this sucka move, you can expect more sucka moves to be made in the League like Dwight going to the Lakers or Derrick Rose going to the Knicks, Who knows??? These sucka moves will only make Lebron's quest to beat out Jordan for rings that much harder!
In conclusion, Lebron is a freak of nature. He's an over sized Rondo with a horrible hair line. If the Miami Heat don't win in the next two seasons, you can expect him to start demanding trades out of Miami, because he's a prostitute looking for the gold!
Sorry for the wait! I decided to wipe the dust off of the keyboard to reintroduce my self and maybe initially introduce myself to some new readers! My name is Fatdreek! Its been around 60 days since I last blogged. Life is a highway at times. Some exits allowed me to blog more often than not. This highway had exits like church, work, Madden on Xbox, celebrating birthdays, graduations and weddings and other summer activities. I got a lot on my mind so you can expect blogs regarding the following topics (Lord willing)....
1. The Reasons Lebron James is A Sucka
2. Politics as Usual (Pt. 2)
3. Cover of A Book
4. My Vegas Vacation
5. Marital Mayhem
Just giving my faithfuls something to look forward to over the next few weeks. Thanks for all of the support and the questions regarding the blog.
My wife and I started dating when I was 19 years old. Next year, I will officially say that Sarah Tenefre Giles has been "mine" for 10 years.
We will approach our 3 year wedding anniversary this October.
A lot of people rooted against us lasting. This has made our bond stronger.
A lot of people have rooted for us lasting. This has made our bond unbreakable.
My wife will tell you that I am not the most romantic person on the planet. I dont care to hold hands. I hate cuddling. I dont like to rub noses together while we breathe in each other's faces. My wife is the total opposite. A true romantic. She would eat under candlelight every night if she knew I wouldn't be annoyed by it.
My wife is adventurous and has showed a lot of courage throughout our relationship.
My wife and I are both from Georgia but we met in Pensacola, FL at a college where physical contact wasn't allowed with the opposite sex. A college where even the church service that took place everyday (Chapel) had assigned seating. God had us be "Chapel Buddies" my freshmen year. Nothing sparked immediately. I made her laugh here and there. I thought she was cute. No big deal!
The 2nd semester of my freshman year, she and I had the same computer class where she conveniently needed "tutoring" after class on who knows what and that became the spark that burned down the forest!
She then invited me to her "dating out " that every sorority, or in PCC's case, collegian had once a year. It was skating at a roller rink where she pushed me on my back (that she still denies) Here's our first pic together on that date!
She was such a cute nerd back then, and boy was I slimmer (still Fatdreek, but slimmer, I'm working on bringing that back)
Over the next couple of months, I met her family (8 brothers and sisters) at her pinning ceremony
and they seemed like good people, so after a few discussions, we decided to make things OFFICIAL on December 2, 2003. Now whether I asked her to make it official or the other way around still remains to be seen, but we'll save that for another blog. Here's our first picture after making it official...
To make a long blog short, T left PCC and sat out of school for a few semesters to work and came back and sat out some more and attended another school in GA, but we stuck through it despite the distance. I would come home during the summers and she would come and visit me when I lived in the hood of hoods with my father. Then I graduated, and she was there!
I planned on getting a job back home and seeing her all of the time once I graduated college, but Jehova had other plans and I got a job with Kemron Environmental Services which required me to travel 28 days a month, which means I only saw my girlfriend 1 weekend a month for 3 years (except for when I had vacations), but we stuck through it!
I decided to reward my wife for sticking with me through all of the ups and downs with an engagement ring..
An engagement ring that set me back like Allen Iverson (read previous blog)
So my wife planned our wedding, as I still worked out of town, and it turned out great!
A few months later, I found a job that didn't require me to travel, which landed me at R&R Metal Erectors with my old college roommate. Then we moved into our first home.
& then we had our first baby..
and that's just the 1st chapter of this never-ending story! We've had mainly highs, but we've had some lows. We work through our kinks and keep it moving. I'm sure the next chapter will feature kids that don't chew shoes and cell phone cords. I just wanted to wish my beautiful wife, Sarah Tenefre Giles (Stanley) a Happy 30th Birthday!
